Trust: The one trait you need to make lasting connections
Trust is like the air we breathe. When it’s present, nobody really notices. When it’s absent, everyone notices - Warren Buffett
I have established previously that your connections are important. So, it is logical to assess the traits you require in your network or whatever community you would like to be a part of. Most effective networks are characterized by trust, growth, shared interests, mutual benefit, authenticity, diversity, breadth, brokerage, scalability. None of these on its own will make you a super-connector or grant you access to all the interesting people you would like to meet. However, a combination of all the attributes will increase the likelihood of making meaningful connections. In this first of many instalments of what you need to make connections, I will be looking at trust. Does it matter? Can you do without it? How do you restore it when it is broken and how can it help you build the relationships you desire and get the results you desperately need?.
Can I trust you with my opportunities? It depends.
A key attribute of making a connection is trust. The connector provides the trust verification that is required. When a connector cannot verify or establish trust due to lack of social capital, the professional, business or social transaction will likely be unsuccessful. This holds true irrespective of if it is a parent-child, nation to nation, or any other type of relationship. Trust can enhance cooperation by reducing social complexity and enabling actions that are otherwise too complex to be considered on a stand-alone basis. For example, you eat because you have learned by experience that food alleviates hunger pangs. It is often said that trust should be unequivocal, unreserved, and unambiguous. However, this is not required for every form of relationship.
The gradation in the level of trust is dependent on the value at stake in a relationship. It is not news that the current US administration is not a fan of Chinese trade policies. The administration has recently indicated that it would ban the Chinese owned app TikTok due to concerns that the company may be releasing data on American citizens by proxy to China through its Chinese parent company ByteDance. This is despite the protest of TikTok that it is a Cayman Island registered company. Actions such as this have however not completely wiped out the trade relationship between both countries. Data from the US Census Bureau indicate that US trade deficit with China in 2019 stood at US$341 billion and approximately US$132 billion up to end of June 2020.The trust in US -China trade is in many aspects not unequivocal, unreserved, and unambiguous. Trade happens depending on the sector and how critical the product being sold is to both parties. Trade between the two nations has been on the increase since 1979 when both countries re-established diplomatic relations and signed a bilateral trade agreement. This led to a rapid growth of trade between the two nations peaking in February 2019, when China became the largest trade partner of the United States.
The US by its actions is implying that it is willing to trade with China in some sectors and not in others. In its view, Chinese intentions are not completely benign. There are several other instances of organisations which have been cut in this crossfire. The US actively lobbied its western allies to ban the use of Huawei technology in their 5G networks due to alleged security vulnerabilities. Incidentally, Huawei is a Chinese company. It can be argued that the US has reasons for its paranoia. It played the same game with Crypto AG which was a communications company it used to spy on its allies.
Trust: What does it mean and should I care?
Trust means different things to different people, cultures, settings, geographies, and disciplines. In the social sciences, the subtleties of trust are a subject of ongoing research and are described in various ways. In sociology and psychology trust is a measure of belief in the honesty, fairness, or kindness of another party. Consequently, trust can break down in some cases not out of malice but incompetence and still be forgiven. In economics, trust can be equated to reliability in transactions. Transactions range from bank to bank, bank to individual, government to individual or organisational interactions. An understanding of the nature of trust can enhance how you build and maintain your connections.
There is a power dimension to trust which may be unequally distributed between a trustor and the trustee. This is brought into context if you consider for example a Start-up company with the shiny new product and the Venture Capital company trying to fund the next big thing. Why would the VC part with its funds if it doesn’t trust that the Founders can deliver on the promise of their product?. Additionally, you should care because trust is situational and it has been shown to have a negative relationship with increasing ethnic diversity. The perennial ethnic rivalries in the news shouldn’t come as a surprise to you. Furthermore, studies have shown that trust is a key driver of economic development and it can be used to explain the variance in the wealth of nations.
Trust levels have also been observed to vary across different countries. Research on the global comparisons of trust attitudes suggest differences across countries. Sixty percent of respondents in countries such as Norway, Sweden, and Finland believe that people can be trusted. Conversely, less than 10% of respondents in some other countries such as Colombia, Brazil, Ecuador, and Peru believe people can be trusted.
How do you assess trustworthiness?
A collaboration of any sort among individuals, organisations or nations require some level of trust. Contracts and agreements are drafted in many instances during any collaborative effort not because of lack of trust but the consequences when trust breaks down. Any assessment of trust usually begins with a categorisation of the various relationships. Several frameworks are available but you can use high, medium or low trust categorisations. One technique I use frequently is to ask myself what I can improve for my high and medium trust relationships. Can I be more authentic, show more empathy, or communicate more. The goal is to be reliable and trustworthy but invariably some relationships will have low trust levels. Choose to focus on your trustworthiness. If there are limited opportunities to improve low trust relationships then it may be an indication that the relationship is no longer mutually beneficial.
How can you be more trustworthy?
Aneil and Karen Mishra in their book have described four dimensions of trustworthiness. To be trustworthy you need to be reliable, open, competent, and compassionate. Trust is reciprocal and requires a level of vulnerability. Vulnerability is measured by your willingness to keep your promises, display honesty and transparency, meet or exceed expectations and remain selfless. This is applicable in business, professional, romantic and social relationships. The more trustworthy you are, the more trust you attract in the connections you are trying to nurture and grow. This creates a positive trust feedback loop.
However, being trustworthy doesn’t necessarily mean that caution is thrown to the wind. Every interaction is assessed on its own merits. I advocate building a trust network beginning from the closest to the farthest people in your network. As a parent, you can begin building trust at home then extending it at work or a social setting. As a business enterprise, you can first build trust with your employees before meaningful trust can be built with your customers, suppliers, and other stakeholders.
How can you restore trust when it is violated?
It must be emphasized that trust takes time to build but can take just moments to destroy. There is anecdotal evidence from organisations to individuals who have violated trust in one way or the other with severe consequences. Adam Neumann the Co-Founder of WeWork easily comes to mind with the story of how the company’s valuation was quickly brought down to earth when trust was broken with potential investors in its proposed IPO. Elizabeth Holmes the former CEO of blood-testing company Theranos was a former darling of Silicon Valley. She quickly lost credibility and was indicted on fraud charges alongside the company’s former President for misleading the public and investors about her company.
How then can you make a comeback when trust has been broken? Firstly, take ownership for breaking trust with a sincere apology and then initiate corrective actions for the mistakes made. Without authenticity, broken trust cannot be repaired. Additionally, there is no guarantee that the one whose trust was broken will accept offers of rapprochement. Consequently, violation of trust can lead to irreparable damage.
Conclusion
The truth is if I don’t trust you, it is unlikely you’ll get access to anything of value I have that you may require. To gain access to opportunities, people, organisations you need to be trustworthy. Can you deliver on an agreement? What is your track record? Do you have precedents that will build trust? When there is no trust equity particularly for new connections, a soft introduction is required. Someone who knows you and the person or organisation you are trying to reach can provide the trust intermediation. Modern society is built on trust. Resist the urge to cut corners.
Be trustworthy, so you can gain access to the connections that can transform your finances, health, business, or relationships that are important to you.
